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uncontrollable illogical jumbled rant.

I just turned my phone off. And i’m very pissed and emotional and I just can’t deal with anything right now. I’m going through so much shit physically and mentally and emotionally if that isn’t the same thing?. & the those things are obviously connected. I was just diagnosed with something called PCOS and its not life-threathening but it is stressing me the fuck out. Basically everything that makes me a woman internally doesn’t fucking work properly and that is fucking with my head. A LOT. & i feel like i have every right in the world to be upset and stressed. But i’m also feeling so insecure. I put on about twenty pounds in the last two years which also bothers me a lot and I need to change that. but now i’m also getting informed that that can have a lot to do with the PCOS. But regardless of that it sucks and i hate it and I honestly don’t know how to deal with all of these things. but theres more ofcourse. i have a boyfriend of whom I’m so unsure about at this point. i’ve recently relocated back to New York because i could no longer deal with none the less live in the same state with this same boy when I was in South Carolina. Soon after I left SC we decided to get back together. soon after that he asked me to move back. I basically said I would and I’m still so unsure of that decision. but it is what it is. I haven’t told my dad cause i don’t know if he’d be pissed or not and i haven’t told my mom cause she can’t hold water. and I’m honestly embarrassed about the entire situation for so many reasons. I feel like i failed, but my relationship? idk I’m still struggling with how that will work.. MORE STRESS. on top of that me and my boyfriend are arguing a lot. which i can say has a lot to do with my crazy hormones and stress and fear and insecurities. but he should understand. and he should accommodate these things in the meantime. but he doesn’t. which pisses me off more. This cycle goes on & on. I currently feel sick all the time and I can’t really fix it. My body is behaving  and feeling like I’ve been on my period 16 hours out of the day every day for the last 3 or so weeks? i don’t know clearly my life is just really fucked up. i’m sure theres more. I just really needed to feel better. goodnight <3



cause this is me all the time.


team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”

(via pink-sunflowers)



hey shay.

Shay Mitchell 😍😍
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